Monday, May 01, 2006

The $39.00 experiment

I have looked at this site at least a dozen times in the last two days and every time I do I literally laugh at loud at something. As you will see from his letters, Tom Locke is a free stuff enthusiast. Here's a sample:

Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your chips. Potato chips, corn chips, baked chips, fried chips. I love them all. I don't know exactly what it is. I think you guys could stick a whole potato in a bag and stick your name on it, and it would taste good. Anyway, would it be possible for you to send me a few free samples of your newest chips? I like to try all of the newest flavors, but I don't get out much. Thanks for anything you can send over.
Tom Locke, chip enthusiast


I think Tom Locke is a "chip off the old block", err chip enthusiast.

Did he write "Much Ado About Nothing?" "Mr. Chips?" "Green Eggs and Chips"?

Does he know our baseball icon "Chipper"? Have a clipper ship named Chipper?

OH, too much coffee this morning. I retreat.
Dusty Locke caffeine enthusiast,

Maybe you could write to some of the coffee companies Tom missed.
How many chips would a woodchip chip if a woodchip could chip wood?

Sorry dude. That's all I got fer yas.
Maybe that should have been "...if a woodchip could chip CHIPS?"
I checked out this link last night when you posted it at ml's place, and went to bed thinking, "Who does this guy remind me of??"

I woke up this morning and remembered. Author and brown-noser Lazlo Toth (aka Father Guido Sarducci, aka Don Novello), author of The Lazlo Letters.

Novello wrote ass-kissing letters to Nixon, Queen Elizabeth, McDonald's and Disney. He got courteous responses from most of them. Okay, so many were form letters. And he got coupons.

If I recall, Lazlo (unlike Locke) rarely got bling from complimentary notes. Only critical ones paid off.

Vatican trivia for $100. What was the name of the nut who tried to turn the Pieta into aggregate with a hammer in 1972?

(answer here)
Alright, alright. I'll jump on board with the majority.

So what is a "whole potato", a Size 46 short?
Where is DavidU? I've got a bone to pick with you. Haven't seen you at ml's so I left word here.

Sorry RW, call me a post-it, and you are a message board.

If your message doesn't work I can put out an APB for him and maybe his e-mail will tell him he's being hunted down.
OO- What can I say, it's my favorite sports time of the year, the NBA Playoffs! So I've spent this past weekend watching an ungodly amount of basketball.

But I've come back just in time to find out how I can get my hands on some free chips....mmmm chips, be right back.
i love chips! i love free! i would really love some free chips!

i like thet story about taste tsting dog treats. yum!

I like the fact that three of the letters refer to a different dog with a highly suspect name. I hope he really has at least one dog since he got so much free stuff for them.
the dog names and breeds where pretty creative, but if he lacks the dogs, at least he seems to enjoy eating dog snacks.

Case 5 tonight. We got screwed Friday, somebody from Oregon won our East coast game.
rw -

thanks. i'll see what it is out here in a couple hours. sorry about the oregon liberal freak winning in the east. danm tree hungers!

I think I'll enter about 11:15 from here and try to return the favor. When you mentioned that robbing tree hunger from the pacific northwest it reminded me of this guy.

I have a splitting headache and am off to bed, but your featured entry for the (hilarious) $39.00 experiment reminded me of something.

Why does one of MLs idiot bloggers call you "extra crispy"? I don't get it.

I did see a race car at Talladega that was sponsored by presumably the same "Extra crispy".

What the hell is it?
Buy Danish,

At the risk of it spreading, my guess is Kentucky Fried Chicken recipes. Hopefully your headache is gas fumes and loud engines. Goodnight.
DOND case 4 on west coast. wienner was from idaho.

I played my throw away computer picks in the West Coast game, but not being in Idaho must have hurt my chances. Most of my picks were on 3 so that may have been a problem too.

The system will let you make selections when the game is open. You can log in about 5:15 PDT and play over here. (I still think you're right that their server is just laughing at us as it discards our free selections though)
i will try to waste my entries on wed at 5:15. thanks.
"foil enthusiast"

That's the best thing I've heard in awhile.

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